


Knit Your Average

by theresonatinglight



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asshole Poe Dameron, Ben is kinky, Cockwarming, Crack, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Oral Sex, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, but we love him anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:21:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25581265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theresonatinglight/pseuds/theresonatinglight
Summary: “I love my girlfriend. I love my girlfriend.” Ben repeats the sentence over and over to himself in the bathroom mirror. “I love my girlfriend. I will wear the stupid hats.”When Ben says he’d like to try cockwarming, Rey gets to work with the knitting needles to surprise him… A tale of cock hats, surprises, and an asshole best friend named Poe Dameron.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 49
Kudos: 205
Collections: It All Started With Pizza Dicking - A Weird Reylo Kinkfic Anthology





	Knit Your Average

**Author's Note:**

> It all started with pizza dicking… I started this with the encouragement of the Reylo Creatives Discord server, and it quickly got out of hand. Please enjoy this wild, cracky, ridiculous, longer-than-expected (perhaps longer-than-necessary) look into the lives of our favorite modernAU!space-wizards! XD
> 
> Side-ships: FinnPoe, Rose/Hux/Jessika Pava

Ben Solo’s not sure how he ended up this lucky – sprawled in bed with Rey’s warm, lithe frame wrapped securely in his arms, the evidence of their lovemaking still strewn on their thighs. _This is the absolute best way to spend a Saturday morning,_ he thinks. She rolls over to face him, gracing his lips with a gentle kiss. “Ben?” she asks, her hazel eyes soft and inquisitive. “Do you have any kinks – or you know, fantasies – you’d like to try next time?”

The question catches him completely off-guard. “...Kinks?”

Rey blushes. “You know – _kinks_ – like, things that turn you on. Like, things you want to try with me.”

“Oh. Why?” Ben’s surprised Rey even knows what “kink” means. Due to her strict upbringing by her lunatic grandfather, he’s basically been her sex education. Hell, she didn’t even know what sex _was_ when they first started dating.

“I… Rose was talking about how Hux and Jessika and her like mixing things up in the bedroom. That it spices things up when they roleplay together. And she seems to really like it, so I just thought… I just thought maybe you’d have some things you’d like to explore together, too. I know I’m inexperienced, but I’d like to learn…” Rey’s blush deepens even further, and she ducks her head.

Ben brings his hand up to lightly caress Rey’s jaw, urging her to look into his eyes again. _God_ , he loves this girl. “Of course. You’re so amazing, Rey – I wouldn’t ask anything of you that you weren’t comfortable with. But there are a few things… I’d love to try really anything with you. Off the top of my head, BDSM, DP, shibari, voyeurism, cum play, sensory deprivation, I’m into piercings… cockwarming…”

“Cockwarming?” Rey asks.

It’s Ben’s turn to blush. “Yeah, cockwarming. I’ve always wanted to try it, but it’s okay if you don’t want to. I really don’t mind.”

Rey shakes her head. “No – I want to try! Why don’t we start there?” Then, she leans closer, pressing her lips to his in a heated kiss.

\--

Rey wonders if perhaps she’s dug her own grave. Her interest had been very much piqued when Rose had mentioned all of the fun she and her partners got up to in bed. But apparently, Ben is _quite kinky_. She loves her boyfriend, she really does. And she’d love to try all of these types of sex with him. It’s times like these, though, when she feels terribly inadequate as a partner. Like, what does… DP… even mean? She only knows about the one kind of sex, and even that, Ben had to instruct her on step-by-step their first time. She doesn’t want to be a burden, asking him to teach her _everything_. So she turns to the most promiscuous person she knows for advice.

“Hi Poe, I have a predicament,” she says nervously into the phone.

Poe’s voice is wary on the other end. “Hey Rey, what’s up? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything’s fine. I just had a question for you. It’s about…” Rey flushes, playing with the fringe on her shorts with her free hand. “It’s about sex.”

“Oh! Well in that case, ask away!” Poe’s voice brightens considerably.

“I’ve been wanting to try some kinks with Ben–”

“KINKS?! YOU?!” Poe practically screeches.

“Well, _yes_ ,” she grumbles into the phone – how dare he assume – “I’m not _that_ much of a prude. Just inexperienced.”

“No no no – Rey, I am so fucking proud of you. You don’t even know how happy you just made me.”

“Anyway,” Rey continues. “I asked Ben what he’s into, and he gave me a whole list. So I thought maybe we could start with,” she glances around furitivey, hit with a sudden wave of paranoia, “cockwarming. But I don’t know what cockwarming is, exactly. I mean, I have an idea, but…”

“Rey, darling, you have come to the right place.” She can practically hear Poe’s shit-eating grin through the phone. “Cockwarming is pretty self-explanatory, actually. Sometimes, a guy’s cock will get cold, and it helps make the sex better if it’s nice and warm whenever it’s _not_ in… you know…” Poe smirks.

“Oh! Like a sock?”

_She really has no idea…_ Poe fights the urge to rub his hands together like a TV movie villain. He has a plan. A hilarious, _amazing_ plan that will get Ben’s feathers all ruffled. “Not quite. More like…” He chooses his words carefully. This has to be just believable enough that Ben will play along. “Like a hat. For just the tip – if the tip’s nice and warm, the sex will be way more enjoyable for both of you. Trust me – I’ve had wayyyy too many cold-”

Rey cuts him off. “Okay, Poe! Thanks a ton!” She knew Poe was the right person to ask about this. Mentally, she pats herself on the back. “I’ll knit Ben some hats – you really think he’ll like them?” she asks, her nerves returning.

Poe’s voice is soothing. “Of course he’ll like them. He’ll love anything you make him.”

“Great.” Rey lets out a sigh of relief. “Thanks so much, Poe. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“No problem. Have a great day! Oh – and make sure to send me pictures when you complete the hats!”

“I will!” Rey hangs up the phone and stands up to retrieve her knitting needles. Sometimes, her inexperience embarrasses her. She’s so glad she has a friend like Poe.

\--

Rey’s making good progress on Ben’s hats. She’s glad that Ben’s out with his parents for the day; this is taking longer than expected, and she doesn’t want him seeing the hats before they’re finished. It takes a few attempts to get the pattern just right, but once she makes one that looks like it’s the right length and width for Ben’s – ahem – _tip_ , she’s on a roll. She decides to make seven; one for each day of the week. They’re all different colors. She even puts little designs on them: a smiley face for Sunday (tomorrow!), a shamrock for Monday, Yoda ears for Tuesday… As she finishes each hat, she shoots Rose a Snapchat message of the completed project.

“That’s so cuuuuute!” Rose responds to the first hat. And the second: “I love these little hats. They’re perfect, Rey.” And the third: “YODA!!!”

When Rey snaps a picture of the fourth hat, it occurs to her that her friend may not know what these hats are for. Rose replies, “Can you make me one?”

Rey wonders if Rose knows about cockwarming. Because the last time she checked, Rose didn’t exactly have the equipment for one of her hats. But maybe she’s asking for Armitage? Or _maybe_ , there’s actually a kink that Rey knows about and Rose doesn’t. _How ironic would that be?!_ Rey giggles to herself as she types back, “Of course! What color?”

Rose responds, “Can you make it rose colored? With a smiley face? Thanks, babe!!”

Rey’s happy to oblige, and adds Rose’s cock hat to her list. She hums to herself as she continues knitting, working on Ben’s Thursday hat – a lovely blue number with polka dots.

When she finishes the hat and sends her obligatory picture to Rose, her friend’s message pings on her phone right away. “WHY ARE YOU MAKING SO MANY TINY HATS? ARE YOU DONATING THEM TO THE PORG FOUNDATION?”

Huh?

So Rose really doesn’t know. A tingle of excitement runs through Rey’s fingers as she taps out her response. There’s finally something sexual that she knows more about than Rose! “They’re for Ben! He asked for some hats for his–” she can feel her cheeks turning red as she types the word, “cock. So I’m knitting some for him!” She watches in anticipation as a blue dot appears at the bottom of her screen, indicating that Rose is typing. Then, the blue dot disappears. And appears again. And disappears.

Oh no. Does Rose think she’s being weird? Do her little cock hats suck? _Should_ she give up and donate them to the Porg Foundation? Maybe the little birds get cold, too… “Rosie? Do you think he’ll like them?”

This time, Rose is quick to respond. “No! I’m sure he’ll love them. They’re so cute, Rey!”

Rey lets out a sigh of relief. She can’t wait to see the look on Ben’s face when she gives him his new presents tonight.

\--

When Ben returns to their apartment that evening, she jumps up to greet him. She’s been done with the hats for an hour, casting anxious-excited-curious glances at the door. She thrusts a gift bag into his hands, saying, “Hey babe, I made you a present! I figured we could try out cockwarming tonight, so I spent all day knitting.”

He looks back and forth between her and the present inquisitively. His girlfriend is so sweet. He’s not sure why cockwarming requires knitting, but he appreciates the gift, nonetheless. “That’s great, Rey.” He moves to plant a quick kiss on her lips before turning his attention to the bag.

Rey watches nervously as Ben removes tissue paper from the bag. He pulls out the first hat and regards it with a thoughtful expression on his face. _Oh my God, he hates it,_ she thinks. But then his eyes meet hers and he _smiles_ , and she thinks maybe this isn’t so bad.

“Rey, I… I don’t know what to say.”

Her face drops. “Do you like them? I made them out of cashmere so they’d be comfortable, and there’s one for each day of the week – look, I labeled them. And-”

“Rey, I love them.”

“Oh.” Rey’s face shifts, a mischievous grin tugging at her lips. “Want to try them on?”

\--

Ben’s not really sure what’s going on. He wonders if Rey thought up the idea for these hats herself or if she misinterpreted something one of their friends said or if maybe she was confused by a Google search… When he lifts the first hat out of the bag, his first thought is that maybe his girlfriend has gone insane. His second thought is that he should explain what “cockwarming” means. But then he looks at her face. She looks anxious – she’d put so much work into his gift – and he knows he’d do anything for her. _What’s the harm in wearing the hats?_ he asks himself.

So he smiles and accepts the gift, and when she suggests they try out Rey’s version of cockwarming, he leads her enthusiastically to their bedroom.

His first impression once Rey helps him don the Saturday sock is: it’s warm. It definitely warms his cock, so at least she got that right. But it’s also a bit itchy. And perhaps constricting in the way it has to stretch in order to stay on. Still, looking at Rey’s puppy-dog eyes, there’s absolutely no way he’s going to say anything negative. _Be kind, Solo._ “Rey, I love it.” _Hmm. Is that laying it on too thick?_ “Thank you for making these for me - they fit well, and I like them a lot.” _That’s better._

Rey _beams_ at him, her smile practically engulfing her whole face and adorable dimples appearing on her cheeks. He grins back and cups her cheek as he leans down to kiss her, sitting on their bed and pulling her into his lap. He’s surprised by the feeling of her bare skin on his under her skirt as she parts her legs to straddle him. _Fuck, that’s hot._

Her body moves against his, her bare lower lips nudging his cock as it strains painfully against its new hat. Ben groans. “Help me take this off?”

Rey has a playful glint in her eye as she reaches between them, stroking his length – teasing him while tenderly working the hat off. When she finally extracts the offending item, he sighs in relief. His one hand brushes between her legs to run through her wetness; his other holds onto her slim waist. He dips a finger into her, loving the feeling of her walls contracting, as if to suck him further into her. He slowly pumps, his thumb brushing her clit in the process. “Can you take two, baby?” he asks, rubbing her back with his other hand.

“Ben, yes – please,” she keens as her hands brace against his chest.

When he works another finger into her, she whimpers, eyes closing in pleasure. She rocks against his hand, mouthing kisses along his neck and jaw. “Please,” she moans, “I need – I need you, babe.”

Her hand strokes his length again, and he removes his fingers from between her legs and brings them to her lips. She whines at the loss, but wordlessly takes them into her mouth, savoring the taste of herself on his skin. His cock _throbs._

Once he reclaims his hand, he lines himself up and _pushes_ , entering her slowly. He marvels at how well she takes him – the way her entrance stretches and her walls grip him as he presses into her. She slides forward and down, taking his whole length into her in one motion. “ _Fuck,_ Rey,” he hisses.

His fingers glide over the place where their bodies become one and then back up to circle her clit. He thrusts into her steadily, and she grinds her hips down to meet him. They move in tandem – pushing and pulling, rising and falling – until they come undone all at once – mouths panting, bodies shaking, hands gripping each other tightly.

\--

The cock hats are certainly _unique_. Ben is really trying to make the best out of this experience. He wants to be gracious. He wants to show Rey that he loves her, and if that means complying with her frankly hilarious notion of what cockwarming means, then that’s just what he’ll do. But that doesn’t mean he can’t let out his frustrations. His dick has been itching non-stop, since Rey has insisted that he wear the hats all day, every day “to improve the quality of their sex-life.” On Sunday, it’s not so bad, since they lounge in the apartment watching movies all day. But on Monday, he feels ridiculous going into the office. He has to make sure no one else is in the bathroom at work before he urinates to avoid the judgment that would surely come, should one of his co-workers see his bright green, shamrock-covered “Monday” cock hat. (“The shamrocks are for good luck,” she had said. He had used all of his restraint to pretend not to cringe.)

Ben furtively taps out a message to Poe and Hux, hoping no one at the office will notice. “On Saturday, Rey knitted me some hats… For my dick. She thinks that cockwarming means like, literally warming my cock. And she’s making me wear them all day, until we have sex! They’re fucking _itchy_!”

He can’t see it, but behind the screen, Poe is snickering gleefully. “Why don’t you just not wear them?” he responds.

Ben rolls his eyes. “She CHECKS. Trust me – she’d _know_. And anyway, I don’t want to hurt her feelings. She worked hard on the hats, and she looks so damn _happy_ when I put them on.”

Hux chuckles and types back, “Pics or it didn’t happen.”

“Yeah! I need to see this, Benny!” Poe chips in.

“Fuck you.” Ben glares at his phone for a solid minute before picking it up and heading to the bathroom to take a picture.

\--

Poe stares open-mouthed at the picture that comes through on his phone. He knows he asked for it, but he didn’t actually think Ben would _send_ one. Wow. Poe thinks he might be in shock. Not just because he never imagined he’d be on the receiving end of a Ben Solo dick pic, but also because he didn’t realize Rey would take his advice so seriously. The hat on Solo’s… appendage… looks well-made, if a little small, and embellished with little shamrocks. It’s adorable, or it would be if it wasn’t clinging to his best friend’s penis. He doesn’t envy the man. But he has to admit, it _is_ hilarious. “Ben, we were JOKING,” he taps out. “You couldn’t have taken the hat off to take a picture???”

“You fucking asked,” Ben responds, and Poe can practically feel his scowl through the text message.

Armitage replies, “Well, it’s pretty cute. Tell Rey she did a good job.”

“Fuck off.” Then, Ben signs off, presumably to mope in private about his new accessories.

Poe feels elated as it sinks in: this is all his doing. This is quite possibly the best prank he’s ever played on Ben, and there have been many, many pranks over the course of their 25-year friendship. He’s so proud of Rey. She’s done so well - she doesn’t even know how well she’s done.

He _needs_ to tell Finn. Yes – Finn would love this. Poe reaches for his phone to text his boyfriend, the gears in his head whirring.

\--

“I love my girlfriend. I love my girlfriend.” Ben repeats the sentence over and over to himself in the bathroom mirror. “I love my girlfriend. I will wear the stupid hats.”

He’s made it to Thursday, and the tip of his dick is getting increasingly itchy every day. In fact, it’s starting to become painfully irritated. He doesn’t want to admit it, but when he had thrust into Rey’s tight, wet depths last night, it had _hurt_. Her walls had rubbed against him in what’s normally a very pleasurable manner. But last night, he’d felt a burning sensation where there definitely should _not_ be one and resigned himself to the fact that this would be his last orgasm until he figured out how to break it to Rey that this was NOT what he had meant by cockwarming.

That’s the question, isn’t it? How does he break it to her? He doesn’t want to hurt her feelings and tell her he doesn’t like the hats, but he also doesn’t want to keep wearing them. He has a literal _rash_ on his _cock_. But still, her feelings are important. He has to be gentle. Maybe he can hold out for a few more days…

Yes. That’s it. He’ll wear basketball shorts and sweatpants in the meantime. He’ll avoid walking when possible. He’ll wait a few more days of wearing the God-forsaken hats, and then he’ll tell her he’s loved “cockwarming,” but he wants to try something else with her. Something that doesn’t involve his dick, perhaps - at least until the rash heals.

\--

There’s something wrong with Ben. There must be; this is not normal. Rey can’t help but feel alarmed when after he brings her to climax on his fingers, he lowers himself to lick her wetness instead of flipping her over and pressing into her.

Well, she’s not complaining. It’s just a little odd, that’s all. _But if it’s really bad, he’ll tell me_ – _right?_ She shrugs internally and lets herself be swept away by the sensation of his mouth on her lower lips and his tongue dipping into her heat.

The second time it happens, she’s thrown even more off-guard. _This is the second night in a row he’s eaten me out,_ she thinks. _Oh well. As they say, don’t look a gift Ben_ – _er, horse_ – _in the mouth._ He doesn’t even get himself off after finishing his ministrations; he just flops onto the bed next to her and falls asleep. No, this is _not_ normal for him.

The third night, she _knows_ something is seriously wrong with her boyfriend. Why isn’t he telling her? _What_ isn’t he telling her? She has to confront him about this – it’s the only way. “Ben?” she asks. “Listen, I… This feels really nice. In fact, your mouth feels amazing. But I’m kinda starting to miss sex… What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

Ben tenses up. “Oh, no particular reason.”

“Are you… sure? You can tell me.”

“...Yes. There is nothing wrong with my cock.”

“Then why won’t you let me touch it? Is it me? Did I do something wrong?”

Even in the darkness of their bedroom, she can tell that Ben’s ears have turned bright red. “I just figured I could use a break? Doesn’t everyone need a break sometimes?” The words fall out of his mouth like a question.

“Of course, babe.” Rey shoots him a quizzical glance before rolling over and snuggling into his arms. _He’ll tell me eventually… right?_

\--

“Poe, I have a problem,” Ben says into his phone.

“What’s up, Benny Boy?” Poe leans back in his chair, propping his feet on his desk and putting his phone on speaker. It’s not like Ben to call during work hours – even during work – so he wonders if he’s getting a cock hat update. He puts a finger to his lips to signal Finn to stay silent.

“You know how Rey made me those… things?”

_Yes._ Poe’s right - definitely a cock hat update. “Yeah. How’s that going?”

“Well at first, I just thought it was weird. But now, they’re _painful_. They’re so itchy and irritating. I think I have a rash. And I’ve been avoiding sex, and now Rey’s caught on that something’s up. What the fuck do I do?” Ben groans, and Poe imagines his friend nervously running his hand through his hair. Finn gives a sympathetic grimace.

“Wait, you’ve been avoiding sex? Why?” Poe’s genuinely curious. He thought the hats were funny, but now it seems that he may have indirectly given Solo a dick rash… _Ew, don’t think that_ , he admonishes himself. _If I never have to think about Ben’s dick again, I will die a happy man._

“BECAUSE MY PENIS HAS A FUCKING RASH ON IT FROM THE FUCKING HATS!”

Never mind – he’s okay with thinking about Ben’s dick rash. This is _hilarious_. Finn shoves a knuckle into his mouth to silence his laughter. Poe tries (unsuccessfully) not to snicker, “...Wow. Uh… Well, this is a lot of information for my virgin brain to process.”

“Fuck you,” Ben grumbles. “Virgin brain, my ass. You lost your virginity to Snap Wexley when you were 15.”

“You’re right – I’m a bisexual storm of looooove, but I’ve never tried… cock hats…” Poe wiggles his eyebrows at Finn and proceeds to burst into a fit of giggles.

“I give up. You were the worst person to talk to about this,” Ben mutters. “I’m serious – it fucking _hurts_.”

Poe wonders if perhaps he should call the whole prank off. Confess his sins and beg for forgiveness, and all that. He almost pities the man. _Almost_. “That sounds like a - _you-_ problem,” he says flippantly.

Ben grunts something unintelligible into his phone.

“Honestly, Ben? You should just tell her. You’re never gonna have sex again if you don’t tell her. Also, your dick might be irreparably damaged if you wear those hats for too much longer. I saw them – they’re wayyy too small.”

“Thanks, Poe,” Ben says sarcastically. “That’s so reassuring.”

“Only the best for you,” Poe fires back. He waits for Ben to hang up before he and Finn fold over laughing.

\--

Tonight is the night. It’s been over a week of wearing Rey’s damn hats, and he’s finally prepared to tell her what he really thinks. He takes a deep breath before stepping into the room.

“Ben, I–”

“Rey–” Ben rubs his neck awkwardly. “Sorry, you go first.”

“No, it’s okay. What’s up, babe?”

Ben swallows. _It’s now or never_ , he thinks. “Listen, sweetheart. I really appreciate all of the work you put into the cock hats. Thank you for that. I love you so much.”

A little smile spreads across Rey’s face.

“But,” Ben says, “and I mean this in the kindest way possible, I _cannot_ keep wearing these things anymore. I mean I – Rey, the reason I haven’t been fucking you is because I have a rash on the tip of my dick from your damn hats – and this is _not_ what I meant by cockwarming _at all._ ”

The smile fades away, replaced with a sympathetic expression. “I know.”

“ _What?!_ ”

Rey winces. “Yeah, Finn told me. Today. I… he said Poe let me believe that cockwarming was, er, wearing little hats on your cock. And I thought it was really cute, so I was super excited to surprise you and I didn’t look into it further. But then Finn said that you were getting a rash, and he felt bad about continuing to leave me in the dark.” She looks down at her hands in her lap.

Ben tries to school his reaction, but a groan still escapes. “Do any of you three have any idea how painful this is?!”

“I’m so sorry! I know, I know – I should’ve looked it up–”

“NO, babe. It’s not your fault - it’s Poe _fucking_ Dameron. I’m going to _kill_ him.”

“Ben, _no_ ,” Rey reaches for his hand. He takes it because even in his pissed-off state, her perpetual willingness to be there for him warms his heart. “We’ll get him for this. _Together._ According to Finn, he thought of this all as a prank, so… I was thinking we do a little pranking of our own.”

_Yes,_ he thinks, his chest swelling with pride. _That’s my girl._

\--

They decide that three days is probably enough time for Ben’s rash to heal. In the meantime, they plan pranks on their problematic friend. A lot. Finn agrees to help in exchange for exemption from their retaliation efforts, and they graciously accept his plea bargain. Ben and Rey start Day One on a fairly innocuous note, strategically sticking googly eyes all over Poe’s possessions. (“He’ll be finding these for _months_ ,” Ben says cheerfully.) On Day Two, they ramp up to hiding alarmingly realistic-looking rubber spiders and snakes with the fruits and vegetables. One spider makes it onto his toothbrush, and Finn makes sure to film the shriek each and every time Poe finds a new fake critter.

On Day Three, the couple unleashes their secret weapon – their final stroke – their coup de grâce: gelatin. Finn lets them into the apartment once Poe has fallen asleep, and they get to work. They collect Poe’s phone, wallet, and keys, taking care not to wake him. Rey dissolves Jell-O mix in boiling water while Ben prepares ice water for the next step. They stir the liquids together and pour the mixture into three separate bowls. To the sound of Poe’s snores, they insert his belongings into the thickening Jell-O and place them into the fridge to set. In two hours, Finn will flip the bowls onto the kitchen table, leaving the domes to be discovered in the morning. In their last move, they gather all of their friends’ towels and cleaning supplies into a duffle bag and haul it out of the apartment. _Checkmate._

\--

Rey wakes up to the gentle feeling of Ben shaking her shoulder. “Sweetheart, wake up. Finn sent the video.” His voice is soft, yet enthused.

Rey groans, pulling the covers over her head. “Five more minutes, babe?” she mumbles.

Ben concedes to five minutes and not a second more.

She’ll take what she can get.

Exactly five minutes later, Ben prods her again. “Please?” he practically begs.

“ _Fine,_ ” Rey mutters. _This had better be worth it_ , she thinks.

She sits up and leans her head on his shoulder, eyes focused on Ben’s phone screen as he presses play. They watch the whole video – all five minutes of it – on loop. _This is so worth waking up for,_ Rey thinks as she clutches Ben’s arm and bursts into her third fit of giggles of the day. They watch the video another time, savoring their sweet revenge.

“Wanna celebrate?” Ben asks, the corner of his mouth quirking up as he gazes affectionately down at her.

“Depends – what do you have in mind?”

“I was thinking,” Ben says. “You need a teacher. A _real_ teacher, one who’s not Poe Dameron.”

“Oh?” Rey grins – she thinks she knows where this is going.

\--

Rey gasps as Ben suddenly jerks his hips, causing her to drop a stitch. “ _Damnit,_ Ben. Warn me next time – now I have to start this row again.”

Ben has the audacity to chuckle as her walls clench around him. He’s lounging in a relaxed position on their bed with her in his lap. His thumb rubs circles on her thigh, and he sits up to plant a kiss on her shoulder. “That’s the point, sweetheart. Surprising you is half the fun.”

“Do you think Poe will like it?” She shifts slightly while turning to show him her progress, and they both groan at the sensation. In her hands, she holds about three-quarters of a hat. A head-sized hat, this time. It’s bright orange – Poe’s favorite color – and reads “D I C K H E A D” across the forehead. She’s rounded out the design by embellishing the top of the hat with a crown of small dicks.

Ben turns her more, pressing his lips to hers. “It’s beautiful,” he murmurs against her mouth as he thrusts once, shallowly into her. “He’d better love it, or else…”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked it, please feel free to leave kudos & comments!
> 
> You can find me on Twitter: [@ellex66](https://twitter.com/ellex66)


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